Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
dear vagina, thank you for making it so goddamn hard to get pregnant. i love you.
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
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