I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
Randomize
