Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
Randomize