You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
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