i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
So some guy at the party is convinced I'm Edward Cullen. He keeps calling me "Twilight" and following me around with a stake. I'm concerned.
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
Randomize
