this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
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