Where are you?
In a non slutty way
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
Randomize
