I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
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