nut hugger
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
Randomize
