He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
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