Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
Randomize
