He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
Hello, the Less Drunk that has my sister's phone. I am the Moderately Drunk. I am questioning your Friday activities. Why are you not the More Drunk?
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
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