I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
Randomize
