sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
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