Come home. Im drunk and cutting my own hair. This is bad, i need you.
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
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