he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
Randomize