i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
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I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
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And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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