did you hook up austin?
No! he threw up in my bathroom, made me wake up and order him jimmy johns, beat my roommate with a macaroni and cheese box, and then passed out with her in her bed
I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
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