Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
I JUST MACED MY OWN FACE
This is by far the best text I have ever woken up to.
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
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