Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
I'm in my onesie attempting to spoon-feed myself cold soup. I'm playing freeze tag with my hangover. My hangover's winning.
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
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