This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
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