i just google imaged poop.
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
