I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
