Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
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