I think scott just propositioned me for sex
Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
