I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
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