Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
Randomize
