last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
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