youre lurking in front of me
Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
I woke up and there is a food processor in my purse. Someone else's framed family photo. My front door is wide open and my gerbil is playing in the water bong.
Yeah I'm going to bathe him.
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
Randomize
