she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
In America we eat man semen.
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
I'm passing your future prison.
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
I'm a teacher who's always telling kids about the importance of due diligence, yet I'm eating an avocado out of a coffee filter because I'm too lazy to wash dishes
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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