I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
Omfg I am plowed. Had drinks with 3 milfs. Going out on their boat tomorrow. They want to show me how buoyant they are.
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
Randomize
