lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
Randomize
