Your favorite bartender is back from prision
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
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