I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
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