after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
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