This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
I woke up in my own vomit, a chunk of cactus in my thigh, shirtless, with jons mom poking at me with a glass of dr pepper and a talk about god....damn alcohol
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
Randomize
