so that wasnt chicken after all
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
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