so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
IN THE MIDDLE OF HOOKING UP, HE IS CALLED AWAY ON AN "EMERGENCY". FUCK THAT, MATT'S CAR IS NOT AS URGENT AS MY THIRST.
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
You told the bartender at least five times that you were naming your son "Jagermeister" but you would use the bartender's name "Fernando" as his middle name. You were drunk.
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
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