Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
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