I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
Randomize
