I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
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