Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
Randomize
