We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
My dad just came home, said hi to mom and me in the kitchen, and then said "I'm gonna go inject my blood with iguana saliva".
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
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