I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
Found an elderly homeless guy with a Gandalf beard passed out on my porch. I put a Santa hat over his erect dick cause he was naked.
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
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