I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
Why are your pants in the freezer?
that may or may not have been my penis.
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize
