if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
I went 670% over budget on my vacation. My accountant would flip if he weren't me.
How the fuck do you have so much free time?
Polyphasic sleep schedule.
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
Randomize
