Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
Randomize
