Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
Randomize
