Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
Randomize
