Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
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