she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
