apparently i ate an entire bag of goldfish, kissed some guy with a girlfriend who now wants to kill me, made my sister sleep in my bed with me while i wore no pants, and told my whole family i am pregnant with jonny's devil baby...never drinking again
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
Randomize
