Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Randomize
