And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
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