At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
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