you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
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