its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
we thought you were sober enough for a movie but you took one look at emily blunt and screamed "aw this bitch?!" and passed out 30 seconds later
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
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