You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
Randomize
