i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
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