I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
I was told I sang Taylor Swift's entire discography in between violent bursts of green vomit before falling asleep in the bath tub
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
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