I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
No subtext here. People are naked.
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
Randomize
