Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
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