also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
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