i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
Randomize
