she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
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