Say something about gay babies.
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
