Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
Randomize
